The Captains Lady

TCL Building Self-Esteem

Daily Energy Wellness Guide

 

   

 

If you want to be happy for an hour, take a nap.

If you want to be happy for a day, go fishing.

If you want to be happy for a month, get married.

If you want to be happy for a year, inherit a fortune.

But, if you want to be happy for a lifetime

do something good for someone else.

- Anonymous

 

How Does Self-Esteem Disappear Anyway?

Things happen to us in our lives that make us doubt ourselves; sometimes really bad things. Sometimes it's just small things, something some one said, or did or didn't do. Doubt leads to inaction because we are afraid of making mistakes or facing negative consequences. Inaction leads to ignoring our own personal values based on what others may think of us, and there goes our self-esteem.

Let's face it. Some of us are better at change than others. There's nothing worse than denying available choices in order to avoid change. Refusing to take direction for our own lives, or vascillating between two difficult choices without ever making a decision at all can make us feel we aren't able to make any good decisions, no matter how small. It is then that losing self-esteem causes us to stagnate. We end up feeling as though life is passing us by, when actually it is the other way around.

Without self-esteem, you will never be able to follow your intuition and do right things for yourself that will lead to health and happiness. Self-esteem empowers our will. Without self-esteem, the will (spirit and energy) is drained away.

 

Over the next couple of weeks...

... make the decision to focus on carrying out the following activities to improve self-esteem. Don't strive for perfection, just small changes.

 

Consider Your Values. What's Important to You?

Your values make up who you are. What do you value? Do you value affection, money, trust, trees, independence, earth, children, belief in God, cleanliness, playfulness, forgiveness, air, animals, work you enjoy, good health, helpfulness, close families, being organized, good friends? Make a list and keep adding to it as you think of things. This list is who you are. Which of your values are being honored (or not) in your life? Find ways of honoring them so you can be more yourself. Being more yourself will increase your self-esteem.

 

Get Your Sleep

Get up at the same time every day. Sooner or later you will be going to bed at the same time too. If you are a night owl and this interferes with your 'energy' during the day, begin going to bed a half hour earlier each week until you are able to get up at the same time every day and still have gotten 8-10 hours of sleep. Do you have trouble sleeping? Visit 'Sleep Disorders'. 

 

Get Dressed When You Get Up

You want to feel like a loser? Hang out in your pajamas or robe, day after day, and watch the sun go down without ever having dressed for the day. After getting up, immediately have a piece of fruit or toast, brush your teeth, take a shower, and get dressed to mark the start of your day. Don't go straight to the computer or the TV set. Go finish your breakfast. Make a list of things you would like to get done. Prioritize your list and do them. You want to fly to Paris, but only have $5 in your bathroobe pocket? Put that on your list too. You'll be delighted every time you see it there on your note pad. (This goes along with imagining. See below.)

 

Eat Well, or At Least Better 

Eat 6 smaller meals through out the day, rather than 3 large. Have a protein or a good fat at each meal (cheese, nut butter, meat, egg, protein drink). Rather than focusing on calories, focus on eating a variety of healthy foods. Visit "Eating, Naturally!" for tips on great food choices for Highly Sensitive Women and their families.

 

Cut Back On or Avoid Sugar, Processed Foods and/or Stimulants

If you are drinking alot of caffeine, for instance, begin to switch over to Oolong Tea (a combination of Black and Green tea). Once you are used to it, switch to just Green tea. Avoid white foods, such a white flour, bread, rice, potato and sugar. Use Stevia, a natural sugar substitute (you can cook with) found at your health food store, or a bit of honey for sweetening. Cook a meal instead of eating that frozen pizza! In fact, avoid all prepared and junk foods. Cold turkey is not necessary or advised, but is important to begin to cut down on and then avoid these things. 

 

Move Your Body

Find something that you want to do, even if it is just a walk around the block or some stretches on the floor. Begin doing that. Write down what you did and how long you did it so you can chart your progress. If you have Fibromyalgia or bone/muscle related syndromes, you will need to take it slow. What ever you choose to do for exercise, do only until you feel the first signs of tiredness. If that means only 5 minutes of walking or only 3 crunches, so be it. That is where you begin. Do not push it. Just keep going at the speed or effort that causes you no pain. Add another couple of minutes of walking or extra reps of stretches each week. Build up slowly. Visit 'Exercise for HSPs'. If you don't want to do it for you, do it for God. He created your body. To exercise is to thank him.

 

Engage In Activities & Outings

Find things to do around your house or yard, starting with getting rid of clutter and dirt! Face it. You may even be a perfectionist, but when you are depressed, the home suffers neglect of some kind. Clutter and garbage effect your energy negatively. By organizing and cleaning your house, you will do the same for your mind and aura. You may not feel like it, but so what! You'll feel better as a result. Remember, feeling follows action. Get to the store for dish soap, good food and for the sake of getting outside. Go to a park, tune into nature.

If you are invited somewhere, and some part of your even remotely wants to go, go! Nothing defeats your self-esteem worse than becoming isolated and telling yourself you have nothing to share with others. You will feel so much better afterwards! Your perspective and your mood will lift and you will be happier with yourself.

 

I Can't Say This Enough...Be Around Positive People

This one can be tough and can be the very cause of depression. Sometimes we just do not have positive people to be around, in which case I suggest renting the video (or CD) of 'Kings of Comedy' or some other comedy that will make you roll with laughter! Watch shows that promise laughter like 'Friends' and 'Will and Grace'. You choose, but don't watch any drama or news for one week and see if you can't feel a difference. That could be your assignment this week. If you have positive people that uplift you, call them. Invite them over, even if you don't really feel like it, even if you don't feel you have anything to share. You do. You just don't know it. You'll be glad you did. Better yet, invite yourself out to their place for instant perspective! Friendship is a gift. Use it!

 

Listen To Energizing Music

Even if you are not a music lover, this can help you. I am not talking, here, about head banging music, music that makes you want to beat someone up, or make you want to cry when you hear the words. Listen to music that soothes, that dissolves into the back ground, that feels good. Choose new music if you don't already own some like this. Play it while you do dishes, read, type or pet the cat. Cats love soft music by the way. So do children. Listen to soft music on your TVs music channel if you have it.

 

Drink Plenty of Fresh Water

Water flushes toxins out of the body and relieves arthritis-like pain. If you are depressed you are probably toxic or dehydrated, or both. Drink 6-8 glasses every day. Tap water may contain chemicals that can make depression worse.

Use a straw. You drink more at one time with a straw and it doesn't hurt sensitive teeth. Cold water burns more calories, but room temperature is best. Visit 'Safer Water' for tips on the best water for drinking.

 

Take Whole-Food Vitamins, Not Synthetic

For more information on whole-food vitamins, dosages and food sources, download my e-book, 'Vitamin Food Sources'.

 

Meditation, Quiet-Time, Prayer - Choose One!

Quiet time - Take 10 minutes per day and do nothing but get outside of yourself. Schedule it into your day. Make an appointment to 'time out'. During this time, there is no music playing, no dishwasher going, no TV, no phone ringing, etc. Just you and quiet. No talking, no singing. Just quiet. You can think whatever you want, but try to focus on background noises. What do you hear? How many sounds can you pick up in the natural world? Kids playing somewhere? Birds singing? A car moving down the street? A dog barking? For 10 minutes, just sit (or stand) and be quiet and listen to your life.

Meditation - This is simple and can be done anywhere, anytime and often as you like to calm and relax you. In your mind, choose a place, a person or a thing that makes you feel safe, happy, relaxed and secure. Be there for a few minutes, or as long as you need. Stick with it until you feel relaxed and grounded again. Visit my 'Simple Meditation' web page.

Prayer - In this particular kind of prayer, you are not to do anything but thank your creator for all that you have. You can say a prayer of thanks for one thing, or for many. It is up to you. This is not the time for requesting. God knows your heart and the requests that lay within it. He already knows what you need. This is the time for praising. If you can't think of any thing to be thankful for (and this can be easy to feel sometimes), start with your body. Thank God for the body parts you have that 'work' and go from there. Put your prayers to practice with my e-book, 'Creative Ritual!'.

 

Get Rid of Junk & Clutter. Let it Go!

It's hard to give things away, isn't it? We form attachments or tell ourselves we may need our stuff someday. But, if you have not used something in at least a year, and don't know when you might again, maybe it is time to let it go. If you still have clothes you wore when you were a size 2 teenager, and you are now a size 12, let them go. If you have cards and letters from childhood, organize them in albums or decorative boxes. Have papers, wrappers and clothing layered in the car? Clean it up. I look at it like this. Objects have a 'life' too. There's nothing wrong with giving them a better one where they will be useful and loved again. Get rid if your clutter and gain energy. If your home, office, or car is full of clutter, garbage and junk, it is affecting your energy level. Do some cleaning up, organizing, straightening and giving away. Is there something you could sell? Download my e-book, 'Healthy Spaces', for ideas on how to energize your home, office, car, and just about any place at all!

 

Create Goals for the Future

One of the best ways to increase self-esteem, and energy, is to actually do the things you think about doing. Make of list of all the things you'd like to do. Not the 'Have To's like doctor appointments, completing that work project, doing the dishes, or getting a new babysitter.

On your 'Goal List' should be that new hair cut, visiting that friend you haven't seen in awhile and miss, donating money to your favorite charity, inviting the family to dinner, or buying those jeans you saw and can't stop thinking about. Prioritize them by importance and time frame. Then, just do them!

So much energy is spent in just thinking about things. Not doing them is a drain of your energy. If you have no intention of doing the things you think about, why think about them? Erase your mental list. It's OK.

 

 

Start A Journal

 

Purchase a journal, or a tablet to record your feelings, actions and progress. If it is difficult for you to write with a pen, as it can be for those with arthritis and Fibromyalgia, then use your computer and type your journal. Typing on the computer can be just as beneficial as handwriting and also adds the ability to screen your journal away with a password for those who are concerned about prying eyes.

 

Start with only one or two of the items from this page. For example, this week you might want to start with getting enough sleep (or not sleeping so much) and getting dressed first thing upon waking. Next week you may want to start eating better. The following week you might buy a CD. The week after that you might want to go visit a friend. In your journal, you might record your feelings about your activities and friendships.

It makes no difference what you start with as long as you start, and as long as you don't overwhelm yourself with too many changes at once. That spells defeat! When you are really bummed out, it is hard to remember nice things about yourself. So, when you are feeling rather positive, write down the following information. When you feel bad about yourself or your life, read it back to yourself as often as you wish. Here are some ideas to write about. 

 

 

1. List as many of your strengths as you can think of. Are you friendly, smart, faithful, creative, organized, loving?

 

 

2. What are the 5 greatest achievements in your life? For example, getting your GED, learning how to use a computer, having a baby, learning a 2nd language, getting your Masters, or conquering an illness.

 

 

3. Write down at least 5 things that you admire about yourself. It could be your feet, your hair, your freckles or how well you have raised your children.

 

 

4. List 5 things you could do to make yourself belly laugh! Could you make faces in the mirror, watch a favorite comedy or visit a special friend?

 

 

5. What is something you could do today to make someone else happy or to helpthem? Who would like to hear from you? Is there a charity you can relate to that could use your help?

 

 

6. Copy this web page and save it for handly reference!

 

 

7. Imagine, Imagine, Imagine! Imagine what life would be like, how you would feel, if everything you wanted and needed were available. This a great meditation exercise by the way. Close your eyes and picture your happy relationship, the classic car you've always wanted sitting in the driveway, what you would look like and feel like after losing 30 pounds, holding that new baby in your arms, smiling in the face of your new husband, being pain free, living in your dream house. As you imagine these things, experience the emotions that go along with them. Do you feel the tension draining out of your body? This is the tension you carry around with you every day. Let it go. From now on, as often as you can think of it, act as if everything you want in life as already happened! What you learn to focus on will be drawn to you! It is true! Place pictures of the things you want around your home to remind you often of those positive feelings those things will bring when they arrive.

 

8. If you cannot bring yourself to act as if, at least begin to think as if! Focus on the things you wish to have in your life throughout your day as if they already exist. In a sense, they already do. It has been proven that time does not exist, that everything that has happened, is happening and ever will happen is all happening right now at this very moment!

 

9. Don't focus on what you don't want. Focus on what you do and see it already happening in your life! Your thoughts have power. They are the magnets that bring to you those things that you are thinking about.

 

A Great Book Reference!

Still struggling? Go find and purchase the book, The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne, 2006, or visit www.amazon.com. Besides the Bible, this is the next most inspiring book in the world!

 

 

May Love & Energy Be Yours!

 

 

Email: DriftingGallion@yahoo.com

Web: www.thecaptainslady.com