Most people value being in a close, loving relationship. This is wonderful and healthy. However, if you are the soft-hearted type and have a need for peace (which is often an underlying need to feel secure, by the way) you may attract the wrong people.
You know, if you throw a frog in hot water, it will surely jump out and run. However, if you place it in cool water and slowly heat it to boiling, it will stay put, stew, and die. You might say "dumb frog". Guess what? There are dumb people too. I know. I've been one. Well, maybe not dumb, but, certainly, gullible. I've also kissed more than one toad while looking for my prince charming and ended up with my share of emotional warts.
We enter relationships when they are cool. In the beginning, our partners may seem to balance us and make up for what we feel we lack. Sadly, the result is that we end up making decisions for ourselves based on emotions that are not always in our best interest. As our relationships "heat up" (become increasingly unsatisfying) we often stay anyway, allowing them to drain us of our precious energy and our self-esteem, making us ill, and, sometimes, even killing us.
It's a good idea to check the temperature of your relationships and situations often. Emotional tension or physical suffering of any kind may be a clue that you are in very hot water. Constantly being stressed or fearful is hazardous to your health. And, it should be OK with your partner to ask him or her how they feel the relationship is going if you are uncertain. Questions such as this are welcomed in healthy relationships.
Relationship Red Flags
Red flags are those emotional alerts that are demanding our attention. They tell us when something is not quite right about a person, place or thing. Pay attention. Trust your gut feeling and the emotions you experience when you are around others. Walking around on "eggshells" all of the time is a sign of abuse. Meaning, if you do not feel comfortable or safe being yourself around another person some sort of abuse or neglect is most likely involved.
Signs of Being in a Toxic Relationship
If your wish to resolve conflicts is not appreciated or respected, this is another red flag. Perform an evaluation of your relationship and establish some boundaries and priorities. Lets' face it. Sometimes, we can all be a bit of a jerk, but if this attitude from your partner (family, coworker, boss, etc.) continues, seriously consider breaking off this relationship before it breaks you. Do not make the mistake of thinking it is easier or safer to stay where you are.
Photograph courtesy of Weebly.com with sepia overlay.
Mari J. Dionne ~ CHP, CLC
"The older I get the more sure I am that one's thoughts create one's reality. They say home is where the heart is but I have found it is the mind that that determines where one's heart resides."
Forgotten English Health Terms
Fish-Whole - as sound as a fish or healthy
Blind Cupid - the backside
Accoucheur - a male mid-wife
Kingsevil - a disease or swelling of the cervical lymph nodes
Valitudinary - subject to sickness; crazy
Chime-Child -a child born on Sunday who was immune to witchcraft, could see ghosts, and was a natural healer
Periblepsis - a delirious stare of the eyes
Wormland - churchyard
Green-Sickness - a disease incident to virgins; sickly paleness, with green tint of complexion
Tissek or Tissicky Cough - a tickling faint cough
Multiplying Medicine - an elixer of the alchemists, used in making and multiplying gold
Peat-Reek-Whisky - highland whiskey, distilled over peat fires
Belly-Brussen - a distended stomach or having a protuberant stomach
Oint - to smear with an unctuous substance (usually having to do with painting or disguising something)
Farbed-Up - confused
Nyctobasis - somnambulism; to walk in one's sleep
Roozles - wretchedness of mind and body
Coolth - coolness (opposite of warmth)
Pharmacopolist - an apothecary
Laver - to wash (before dinner)
Gothicism - to be rude or rudeness
Desuetude - lack of use
Splay the Bream - to cut up that fish
Doctor of Skill - a physician
Dendranthoplology - the theory that man sprang from trees
Fash - to care, to trouble one's self, anxiety
Satisfy Colon - to satisfy one's hunger
Neurasthenia - debility or impairment of the nerves
Trollibags - the intestines
Cothish - faint, sickly, ailing
Fogo - a disagreeable stink, stench, or smell
With Squirrel - pregnant
Pottinger - a cook, apothecary, druggist (Scotland)
Pomster - a quack doctor; to treat illness without knowledge or skill
Bleflummery - vain imaginings
Venefice - a practice of poisoning
Weaponsalve - a salve that was supposed to cure the wound by applying it to the weapon that caused it
Overset - to recover from mental shock
Fordolked - wounded
Wamblecropped - humiliated
Peffle - in a nervous state
Measondue - a hospital or poor house
Dead-Nip - a blue mark on the body not caused by an injury or any known cause...sometimes called a witch's nip
Sadly On - expressing that a person is ill or in a bad way
Whirligigs or Tallywags - testicles
Betwattled - to be surprised, confounded, out of one’s senses
Bone Box - the mouth
Dicked in the Nob - silly, crazed
Head Rails - teeth
Hickey - tipsy, hiccupping
Knowledge box - a term for the head
Sugar stick - the virile member
Pimpish - Dainty in the matter of food (taking in small quantities)
Witchify - to bewitch
Naufrage - shipwreck
Artwork & Photography Credits
Side Bar: Pen & Ink, Old Door, and Star (iStock.com ~ All rights reserved.) with sepia overlays.